From Pink to Purple

by Chris Meinecke

Chris Meinecke

Chris Meinecke

Every October the NFL goes balls to wall to support breast cancer awareness. Pink clad players, coaches and fans alike are shown in commercials and during games. No detail is missed, from sweat bands to shoes, gloves to knit hats, nearly everything licensed by the NFL has a splash of pink on it in October. The awareness of a devastating disease that is consumed by more and more women each day is second to none. Pink bats and arm bands on Mother’s Day in Major League Baseball is nice, but professional football has everyone beat.

Now, I’m not saying that it isn’t important. I like the fact that a $7 billion industry backhandedly “gives back” to its fans whom have been directly impacted by breast cancer’s savage results. You don’t have to be a marketing genius to understand what I’m getting at here (you know, but the $45 dollar hat so $13 of it can go to research and the rest to the league). It’s a little shady, but in reality it makes good business sense. I could on and on about my belief for years that there should be some tribute to prostate cancer in the NFL, but alas, that’s a whole different article and I’m positive someone has already written it. Even the awesome “Ice Bucket Challenge” went Charlie Manson insane, was a bit overwhelming on social media, was misconstrued that if you dumped an icy pail over your head you were absolved of all fiscal responsibility, yada yada yada. Ultimately it raised an ass load of money for a great cause.

Listen to me National Football League – We adore you, ridiculous and constant penalty flags and all.


Of course some of us wondered why something like that hadn’t happened before. Why just ALS? Why not “Pins under your finger nails for Cystic Fibrosis” or “The milk gallon challenge for syphilis awareness”? In the end there are far too many causes for any one person to possibly be expected to donate cash to all of them. What led me to think of all of this is the Ray/Janay Rice situation. Yeah, I know, everyone is talking about it. Commish Goodell will likely be out on his all-powerful ass before all is said and done. But what the hell does the Ice Bucket Challenge, pink ribbons in October, and Ray Rice have to do with one another? Well, nothing really. However that’s how my mind works, and when it’s this jacked up, its column writing time. And face it, you all love it. You do, don’t you?Pink Douches

Let me circle back to my point of all of this talk about causes, awareness, and ribbons. It’s simple. Why not have the NFL players wear purple during the month of October during the 2014 season? Stick with me because I can hear some of you now shouting at your phones, tablets, and computer screens “October is breast cancer awareness month you jack wagon!” I know, I know, but don’t you think the breast cancer survivors and their families could find it in their hearts to give up the NFL for one month? I’m the son of a breast cancer survivor and this is my idea! Think back to the ice bucket. Wouldn’t it have been refreshing to see someone do the challenge and say to the camera “I’ll be donating $100, half to support ALS research and half to benefit the ASPCA.” Perfect. One video + two causes = that much more help and awareness.


Listen to me National Football League – We adore you, ridiculous and constant penalty flags and all. We don’t care if the Ginger Hammer is ousted from his commissioner’s throne. We don’t care that Donte Stallworth and Michael Vick committed unspeakable crimes and both played healthy and happy in league again. We don’t even care about Ray Rice as an individual. We care about our sport, the most popular sport in our country. We care about breast cancer, and wearing pink. But hey, think about this for a second: Purple ribbons represent awareness for a multitude of diseases and cause. Some of those are gynecological and testicular cancers, drug overdoses, inflammatory bowel disease (which Rog likely has a touch of right now), and… DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. What better way could there be to attempt to redeem themselves in the NFL than that?! The Ravens are already built into the plan by wearing purple as a default. It doesn’t even have to be October, keep your pink in October. Do it in November. Do it in December when the frozen faces of fans in Buffalo, Green Bay, and Minnesota would match the newly minted purple gear they’re wearing. I realize it will be complicated. Packers fans sure as hell won’t want to wear purple on November 23rd when they match up with the Vikings, but even those beer guzzling party-hounds would probably give in for a couple of weeks for one season. Plus the added bonus is some many things are covered. A laundry list of women’s cancer’s, testicular cancer for the boys (pun intended), and domestic violence to help pick up the pieces from the Ray Rice saga. Purple even represents awareness for Alzheimer’s disease, which some of the players will ultimately end up with after getting hit in the melon repeatedly for 14 years.


Roger Roger Elevator Tape Dodger

If Roger Roger elevator tape and truth dodger doesn’t do something like this, I will make it my initial act of goodwill when I take over his employment at 345 Park Ave. in New York. An idea like this has to get me voted in by the court of public opinion, if not the NFL owners themselves.

NFL Preview: AFC West

by Casey Angel

As a wise man once said, let’s start from the beginning. However, in the world of NFL free agency, successful (or unsuccessful) drafts, and injuries, the “beginning” seems like just yesterday. For that very reason, we’ll take a look back on the four AFC West teams before looking forward to each outlook.

1. Denver Broncos
2013 Record: 13-3, AFC Champions.

2013 Recap:
What hasn’t been said about the Denver Broncos? After leading the league in point differential (+207), they seemed destined to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl after finishing up with the 1 Seed and a 13-3 record. After cutting through a red-hot Chargers team and then the New England Patriots in the AFC Championship, the Broncos failed to show up in one of the most lopsided Super Bowls we’ve witnessed in a long time. All of the records set by Payton Manning, the dominance of one of the best divisions in all of football was quickly forgotten not because they had lost the Super Bowl, but the fashion in which it was squandered. 43-8 has been the only number that stuck with this Broncos team throughout the offseason.

2014 Outlook:
That kind of thrashing can cripple a team, cause them to look elsewhere, but not this Broncos side. Aside from those who will be returning from injuries (Von Miller & Ryan Clady), the Broncos realized that their weaknesses last year could be addressed through free agency. A serious soft spot was that of the aging Champ Bailey at cornerback, so very neatly they signed New England’s best cover corner Aqib Talib and spent their first round pick on CB Bradley Roby out of Ohio State. Von Miller has become a concern with injuries and suspensions, so very neatly they provided more reinforcements to rush the quarterback in former-Cowboy DeMarcus Ware.

2014 Prediction:
12-4, AFC West Division Winners.

2. Kansas City Chiefs
2013 Record: 11-5, AFC Wild Card. Lost in first round.

2013 Recap:
The Kansas City Chiefs were truly a team of two halves. The first half of the season was littered with weak opponents (Jaguars, Texans, Browns) and favorable home matchups (Giants, Raiders), leading to a fast 9-0 start. Then came the Bye Week and ouch… The Chiefs proceeded to lose both matchups to the Broncos and both to the Chargers, finishing with just 2 Wins in their last 7 games. The fast start was enough to secure the top Wild Card spot in the AFC under first year head coach Andy Reid and newly traded for quarterback Alex Smith. In what was one of the more exciting playoff games, the Indianapolis Colts beat Kansas City 45-44 in the opening round of the playoffs.

2014 Outlook:
The big stumbles of Kansas City down the stretch has made many people wonder about their legitimacy in a tough AFC West. Some big question marks remain about offensive weapons outside of Jamaal Charles, a secondary that lost CB Brandon Flowers to in-division rival San Diego, and their ability to compete with Denver and San Diego as they look to return to the playoffs. In this author’s opinion, the resurgence of the Kansas City Chiefs was greatly accelerated by a terrible first half slate of opponents in 2013, something that will change quickly and harshly given that they will face the Broncos, Patriots, Chargers and 49ers, all within their first 6 games. Late season games against the Cardinals and Seahawks will be no walk in the park either.

2014 Prediction:
6-10, 4th in AFC West.

3. San Diego Chargers
2013 Record: 9-7, AFC Wild Card. Lost in second round.

2013 Recap:
The San Diego Chargers were the second team in the division that had a ‘tale of two halves’, one that was exactly opposite of their rival, Kansas City. After starting 5-7 with injuries to the defense and growing pains under first year head coach Mike McCoy, the San Diego Chargers put together another impressive second half, winning 5 of their last 6 games and earing the Wild Card berth. In the playoffs, the Chargers beat the AFC North division winners in Cincinnati before losing to the Denver Broncos in the second round.

2014 Outlook:
Much of the 2013 early season struggles were due to defensive injuries as they allowed more than 20 points in 8 of their first 10 games, then held opponents to less than 20 points in 5 of their last 6 games, including the playoff win in Cincinnati. With a second strong draft in a row behind them, look for the young parts of the San Diego Chargers defense to continue to mold together as the likes of Melvin Ingram, Manti Te’o, Jason Verrett, Donald Butler & Corey Luigit become household names along with their veteran counterparts of Eric Weddle, Jarret Johnson, Dwight Freeney and newly acquired Brandon Flowers. The offense will be highly dependent on the health of Ryan Matthews, which gave QB Philip Rivers a nice distraction for much of the season. San Diego still has highly skilled position players including Matthews,

2014 Prediction:
10-6, 2nd in AFC West, Wild Card.

4. Oakland Raiders
2013 Record: 4-12.

2013 Recap:
It was much the same for the Oakland Raiders in 2013, who have become one of the more hapless organizations in football for the better part of a decade. 2013 marked the 11th straight season in which the Raiders missed the playoffs, a stark contrast to the 2013 season in which every other AFC West team made it to the playoffs in 2013 alone. The Raiders started off well considering their expectations, going 3-4 through their first 7 games with big wins over San Diego and Pittsburgh. However, the months of November and December were especially cruel to the Raiders, going 1-8 during the final two months of the season.

2014 Outlook:
The Oakland Raiders needed a facelift after their 2013 season, and they seemed to book a great plastic surgeon. This team is completely different in almost every way. Last year was plagued by inconstancy from the backfield positions, the Raiders addressed both by signing RB Maurice Jones-Drew from the Jaguars and QB Matt Schaub from the Texans. However, the biggest move was that of drafting second round pick out of Fresno State, QB Derek Carr, who has since won the starter job, and rightfully so. However, with all of those massive changes on offense, it is the defense which looks better than ever. In addition to second rounder Derek Carr on offense, the Raiders scored what many consider the most NFL ready player in linebacker Kahlil Mack. Along with Mack, their defense is littered with newly acquired veteran talent such as Justin Tuck and LaMarr Woodley up front as well as Charles Woodson and Carlos Rodgers in the secondary. Make no mistake about it, this Raiders’ defense will not only be a vast improvement from the 2013 shell, but has the potential and talent to be a top 10-15 defense by the end of the year.

2014 Prediction:
8-8, 3rd in AFC West.

NFL Preview: AFC South

by Chris Meinecke

Chris Meinecke

Chris Meinecke


The AFC South is similar to the French film industry.  The Indianapolis Colts are that French film that comes along once every twenty years that resonates with people that couldn’t care less about the genre. They stick in your craw. You want to watch it over and over. They never get dull. Even with this Soul Asylum style of “Runaway Train” that the Colts have become, every year it seems that there is some reason to want to love a team in this division that won’t lead it. The success of the Texans in recent memory (save for last year), made this possible.

Andrew Luck

     Light the ignition on 2014 and there are some story lines in the American South. I’m not talking about Ferguson, MO, or teenagers breaking into Ray Allen’s Miami home looking for bling and Pitbull mix tapes. It’s easy to say that Indy will run away with the crown once again, but will it be such an easy path this time around? Let’s face it, nearly the entire AFC basically sucked-out-loud last year and there seems to be the same sentiment floating around as we inch closer to this year’s kick-off. The Colts took this division by four games in ’13 finishing 11-5, and Andrew Luck and the boys aren’t looking to stroll off the mountain any time soon. With all of the excitement that surrounded the Titans and their young, talent laden team, the injury and discontentment bugs still tally-whacked them to a 7-9 record. Honestly, that’s not bad for the AFC. I picture Brad Pitt in “Money Ball” saying “There are rich teams and there are poor teams. Then there’s fifty feet of crap, and then there’s us.” when I think about the AFC as a whole, and the South is it’s red-headed stepchild, which is ironically fitting for something “southern”.


 Justin Blackmon will redeem himself during a season long suspension wherein he saves his 6 year old niece from taking a swig of his Red Berry Ciroc by jumping off a bar stool and busting his eye open on the corner of a shag covered bar.


Bishop Sankey

The rest of the story lines go something like this: Chad Henne’s  play will be unremarkable, but not terrible. The Jags will lose 4 of their first 5 games (look out Washington!) and everyone will begin to jump on the Blake  Bortles bandwagon until a spring breaks and the fucker is tilted. Jake Locker will enjoy a solid running game behind Bishop Sankey, and a fan base fueled by Jack Daniels – until he gets hurt again of course. The Texans’ windbags will sporadically complain about Jadeveon Clowney’s work ethic, but the unit overall will be better with him.

     What probably won’t happen: Hakeem Nicks will have an all-pro year and catch 100+ balls thanks to a change in scenery and a huge upgrade in signal caller. The Colts will sling the ball, but it’ll be more like a fine Nutella spread than a torpedo-like hardboiled egg eating contest. Ryan Fitzpatrick will lead Houston to a Wild Card win over the Chiefs (hahahahahaha sorry). The WR corps in Tennessee will become the latest version of “The 3 Amigo’s”, and Justin Blackmon will redeem himself during a season long suspension wherein he saves his 6 year old niece from taking a swig of his Red Berry Ciroc by jumping off a bar stool and busting his eye open on the corner of a shag covered bar. What? That’s been done? HASN’T been done? That’s confusing man.

Justin Blackmon

 Your best option if you’re a fan, stadium worker, video assistant, tour guide, coach, etc. of an AFC South team is to remember that the games will go on. Sure, you’ll lose a game in JAX, with the Jags having to go to London on November 9th, but clearly you guys barely show up as it is. Tickets will be bought and sold. Diehard’s will buy another shirt. Denard Robinson will carry the ball 21 times for 59 yards. Mediocrity and outright putrid failure is okay, it’s the NFL, and even the AFC South gets to participate.