Monday Night Football: San Diego Chargers @ Jacksonville Jaguars


Yes, it is time for more Monday Night Football. It is long known to everyone at BLFC that the Bad Baby loves his Jacksonville Jaguars, through bad times and good times, more recently bad than good. I often get to hang my head and do the walk of shame leaving local establishments after watching Gabbert throw for less than 150 yards, while the defense plays above average as usual. NEWSFLASH: YOU CAN’T WIN IF YOU CAN’T SCORE!

Blaine Gabbert

While I love my team, I will remain unbiased, because I am picking against my own team, using logic. Philip Rivers (AKA Jughead) and his Chargers must must must win tonight against a shitty Jacksonville team. I could see Norv Turner getting canned if they lose just out of principle. Jacksonville has one of the better defensive units in the league by allowing a league 3rd overall in passing yards and 12th in rushing yards. However, they are dead last in the league in passing yards as Blaine Gabbert continues to struggle with a receiver core that could have been brought out of a high school football team.  Trust me, you wouldn’t know the difference. I love running back Maurice Jones-Drew, but for the love of God, the Jaguars have to develop a passing game, and I just don’t see it happening tonight. Last week Gabbert was sacked SIX TIMES! SIX?! ARE YOU IN A WHEELCHAIR THAT ISN’T EVEN MOTORIZED?! I understand you were not touted as a speedster from college, but please look around and step up in the pocket, not further back! I am starting to lose brain cells every time I slam my face into the table watching you collapse faster than a person with polio.

Philip Rivers (AKA: Jughead; King Laser Face)

If I had to talk about how much my team pisses me off, this would go on for ages, so onto the San Diego Chargers (our own Nelzone’s 2nd favorite team). Jughead must pull his head out of his rectum and find Vincent Jackson early and often. The Chargers need to put this game so far out of reach that they won’t even have to play in the 4th quarter. That is the only way I see this game going. Rivers and company definitely have a lot more talent than their 4-7 record shows.  Norv Turner is a play calling idiot, and it is starting to show more than ever. Watching Rivers’ reactions after certain plays are called is hysterical and the folks at KSK (kissingsuzykolber.com) have dubbed him “King Laser Face”. Hysterical. Ryan Mathews will have difficulty with the run against a decent Jaguars front line, but he should be enough of a distraction for Rivers to run play action and get the ball into the flat or down field to Jackson, Vincent Brown, Malcom Floyd and the almighty, tight end Antonio Gates. I don’t even have to talk about their defense because Jacksonville’s offense is so shitty, all the Chargers have to do is put 11 men on the field.

Game score? I’ll go a hefty 35-10 Chargers. I will also go home with a migraine.

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