G.I. Joe With the Kung-Fu Grip

The Christmas season is upon us. Actually, it’s full on humping us. Between all the car commericals, Target ads, and blubbering moans for donations to your favorite cause that tries to cure things that make you limp or tremble, we’ll all have to struggle through some how. If your child wants the G.I. Joe with the kung fu grip, just buy it. You’ll be glad that you avoided the headache and in turn I’ll be glad that I won’t be kicked out of whatever chain store I’m in after popping you in the mouth and staring down you’re kid due to the coniption he/she is having because you were cheap. It’s a win-win in my book. Don’t misunderstand me, I love Christmas. Scrooge I am not. Ask anyone. I just have the same annoyances that everyone else has, I just write them down so you can read them. How does this relate to sports you ask? I’ll tell you…

If you happen to be someone that pisses their pants and screams at the ceiling everytime a huge contract is signed by a player in any of the four major sports in this country, you should go ahead and research some of the materialistic pond-scum floating on top of the books at major corporations in the United States. What I mean to say is, CEO’s and other upper level management get rewarded handsomely, so when Albert Pujols signs for $254 million, please don’t hesitate to take a bat to your crystal vase that you purchased at Tiffany’s for some ridiculous amount.

If you feel like there’s no problem in buying that vase because “I do well in my career, I can afford it”, then don’t blame LA Angels owner Artie Moreno for taking his balls out of the proverbial purse and land one of the biggest sluggers in the game today.

You say you can’t afford a Tiffany’s crystal vase so you don’t fall into this area, giving you a free speech ticket to beller all you want until you have foam shooting from your lips, I have a solution for you too… Put down the cigarettes and booze. Until you stop spending $40 on a carton of Virginia Slims, you can zip it too.

Get on the bus folks, this is the way it is. This is the way it will continue to be. If you don’t like it, leave the fandom to me. Don’t worry I got it. We don’t need you anyway. My guess is the people that bitch the most about salaries, are the most ignorant about sports in general. With that said, do us all a favor: STAY HOME. Don’t turn on ESPN, do not check the box scores, and certainly don’t talk about it at the water cooler of whatever shitty job you have. The rest of us, the real fans, will be just fine without you.