No I do not play basketball. Yes I am over 5’8″

Minneapolis, Minnesota


This weekend my husband and I decided to take a mini vacation up to the bitter north AKA Minnesota. Minneapolis, Minnesota to be exact.  I don’t know about you, but the only things that come to mind when I think of Minnesota is the Mall of America, a few friends/relatives, and the Minnesota Vikings. Ya I know the Vikings are a bit of a stretch. Sorry Viks fans, but I was with you when Favre was on your team (ask my coworkers they practically revoked my Packer card).  Hell I even cheered for McNabb before he was tossed out! Now the only decent player you have left is Jared Allen and even he is tired of dealing with your bullshit and bad luck. 

What I didn’t know is that you are home to the Minnesota Timberwolves, who just happened to be hosting the reigning NBA champs, the Dallas Mavericks, the night we pulled into Dodge. Big props to Chris Meinecke. So we decided to take in the game for our Sunday night pleasure.

Target Center, home of the Minnesota Timberwolves

I am versed in professional athletics, unlike my girlfriend who thought Aaron Rodgers was a baseball player. Not kidding people. I was excited to see Jason Kidd, Dirk Nowitzki, and the newly acquired Mr. Lamar Odom in real life. After taking some notes during time outs, commercial breaks, and half time here is what I humbly observed:

Lamar Odom

Lamar Odom. Now I never followed him on the Lakers, can’t even tell you what position he plays, but he looked tired. He drew a technical in the first half, but don’t ask me why I never saw it.  I was hoping to see (or hear) his wife but sadly there was no Kardashian in the arena.


Ricky Rubio. Don’t know him, never heard of him, but the fans sure loved him and I can appreciate hometown favorites.

Picks. I love them. Great use of a body. It is like watching someone trying to pass granny on the interstate and then getting shut down by the merging idiot driver on their cell phone. Tragically hilarious.

Fouls. Too many of them, can’t keep them straight, and have no clue what I’m watching for. The only one I know is traveling and if I see it, it’s the right call. There are too many players flopping around trying to get a foul called. If you want that, go play for the NFL where you so much as breathe on an offensive player and you will draw a flag.

“I look at the NBA as a football game without the helmet.” – former NBA forward Tom Tolbert

3 Point Shots. No matter how many times I see one go in I never get tired of watching the player’s follow through.  Beautiful.

And last but not least –  the dancers, who are not to be confused with the Pom-pom girls. Different skill set here people. I’ll be the first to admit I like the female body. I appreciate it and I’ll stare just as much as the next guy, but these girls performed all wrong. Now maybe its my age, gender, or lack of entertainment knowledge, but grinding your hips in a lapdance type fashion belongs in a BET video, not on a basketball court that is “family family”. Funniest part? They were selling calendars for $15 during halftime and they looked like they should have been selling brownies instead.  My assessment? Save your money and buy the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader 2012 Calendar instead…. or watch the Pom-pom’s.