So Is Week 1

by Matt Cassista

Week one of the NFL has come and gone and while no real big surprises happened, there was no shortage of blunders across the board. I got to watch younger brother Manning look like he had just been notified he was playing the Harlem Globetrotters and that he needs to do “his part” to make the Cowboys look good. I got to watch my Baltimore Ravens give up the most points in franchise history while still putting up over 400 yards of offense against the Denver Broncos.  Hell, I even saw 4 safeties in week one….FOOOUUUURRR?!?!?

            I’ll tell you what news I truly got out of our nations finest football teams through week one. After all the hype I bought into, I was not particularly thrilled with the Dallas Cowboys. I think it was less “we look good” and more the Giants “we look really bad.” The Cowboys struggled to move the chains on any level and Romo only threw for 263 yards after his team put up 36 points….annnnd it looked more like a 200 yard performance. I want to know the guy who kept track; I think he’s full of it.

            I saw that it only takes one half of football for Danny Amendola to scare his fantasy football lovers. That man wasted no time to pull a groin, and throw out his back, and break a toe, and have the wind knocked out of him, and 19 more simultaneous injuries. I saw those who have Lamar Miller for fantasy should be generally worried. He lacked any sort of vision finding the hole and had no sense of burst if he did accidentally stumble into it. With a below average front in the Miami Dolphins, this is going to be an ongoing problem for the rookie. McGahee, you should probably start stretching now just in case.

            Chip Kelly’s “revolutionary” offense burned the Redskins on Monday Night and even more staggering was the 53 plays they ran in the first half. Washington struggled to find their own dicks between their legs because they were so lost and confused. It didn’t help D.C.’s cause that RGKnee fought valiantly to do anything productive. He just…he just….he just was awful.

            Could weekend number two be just as entertaining? Probably. Hopefully. The Thursday night game was nothing worth noting except Rex Ryan’s new special teams tactic to block with all 11 men on the field. How could you forget to put a man back to return the punt? Twice? As long as I have a Manning Bowl to watch and a solid Jags v Raiders game, I think I am going to do just fine.