The Smell of Roses

badbabyauthorby The Bad Baby

Do you smell what “The Alvarez” is cooking?! If you were Dwayne Johnson, you could for sure, or just a hungry Wisconsin Badgers fan. With the departure of Bret Bielema for Arkansas, Barry Alvarez is taking over the reins of the Wisconsin Badgers for another Rose Bowl. Bielema failed to deliver a win, while Barry has three. This is going to bode well for a Badgers team led by Montee Ball. Opposing Ball is another running back from Stanford, who is no slouch, in Stepfan Taylor. These two will undoubtedly steal the spotlight for the evening of January 1st, 2013. The Stanford Cardinal are back in the Rose Bowl from the Pac-12 and are chomping at the bit as well.

Is Wisconsin even supposed to be here for this day? Well, yes, because they aren’t a bunch of scandalous fucks. Congratulations for being able to read NCAA rules and follow the moral code of man, Wisconsin. Yes they deserve to be here, and they showed it by blowing out Nebraska in the Big 10 Championship game.

Wisconsin and Stanford are average in the passing game, ranking 115th and 94th respectively. Where these teams excel is in rushing and defense. Wisconsin has a slight advantage on paper in the rushing department, 12th to 51st. Stanford is slightly better in the defensive department than Wisconsin, 13th to 19th. Oh my what kind of football game will we have here?! A high scoring affair in which neither team decides to show up for defense…or a low scoring affair in which the defense plays so well we are bored as fuck and decide to watch re-runs of Family Guy again?

Aww fuck it, analysis doesn’t mean shit. Both these teams can score, and quickly. Both these teams have defense. Flip a god damn coin, drink your drink, don’t be rude, and enjoy football on New Year’s Day!

Last of Your 2012 Thursday NFL Entertainment

Week 15 Thursday Night Football: Bengals @ Eagles

Well well…a battle between the playoff pretenders and the wounded wings. I say pretenders because I think Cincinnati will most certainly make the playoffs as a wildcard…and then get trounced. So pretenders it is. The dickless…errr I mean Vickless, Eggles…err I mean Eagles are just trying to win a game with rookies Bryce Brown and Nick Foles. Let’s break this one down by offensive position.


Andy Dalton (Bengals) VS Nick Foles (Eagles)

I am giving the edge to the Red Rifle in Andy Dalton due to experience alone. He is a smart player and knows when to take a shot down field to his favorite target A.J. Green. Jermaine Gresham has re-emerged as a great target for him as well. Andy can move in the pocket well and the Bengals are a better road team than they are at home. Nick Foles is green but has a strong, strong arm. Foles is missing DeSean Jackson because Foles can actually deliver an accurate deep ball with protection in the pocket…oh wait…the Eagles don’t have that. Fire crotch torches the Eggles and they march on. ADVANTAGE BENGALS

Oh..btw..I am starting Dalton tonight for my Fantasy team against Chris Meinecke..I hope he has a career game. Fuck you Meinecke!


BenJarvis Green-Ellis (Bengals) VS Bryce Brown (Eagles)

The Lawfirm against a rookie. I am giving it to the rookie in this round. Lawfirm is having a nice season but doesn’t have the explosiveness that Brown possesses. Brown can still cough up the football but when you are running for 150+yds and 2 scores…who gives a fuck? Brown is averaging a whopping 5.7 yards per carry and Lawfirm is 4.1 yards per carry…both good numbers but….as Tyler Perry says…Helllluurrrrrrrrrr. ADVANTAGE EAGLES

Wide Receivers

A.J. Green, Andrew Hawkins (Bengals) VS Jeremy Maclin, Jason Avant (Eagles)

On paper…going with the Bengals. A.J. Green is too explosive of a playmaker by himself to not give this edge to the Bengals. Dalton will be looking for the fade to Green in the end-zone all evening, and will be successful. I think Maclin has the best game of this entire group, but it will be in vain as the Eagles come up short with a rookie at the helm. ADVANTAGE BENGALS

Tight End

Jermaine Gresham (Bengals) VS Brent Celek (Eagles)

Gresham is having a great season for the Bengals. 5td’s to be exact already and that is good production. Celek has one measly touchdown but over 600 yards…which is nothing to laugh at. I think this is a wash; Celek just isn’t a featured part of the red-zone offense for the Eagles whereas Gresham is a go to option along with Green. ADVANTAGE BENGALS

So what does all this horseshit mean? It means I get to talk about who I like and why I think I am correct and you get to read it and tell me I am full of shit if you are an Eagles fan and tell me I am God if you are a Bengals fan. Either is fine with me, but please address me as Sir.

Bengals win and get criticized, the Eagles grow as a team, and Sportscenter talks about how good Nick Foles will be next season. Bank it.


Yeah, It’s been awhile

It’s been awhile, since I could, hold my head up high….WRONG YOU ARE STAIND!  Unlike the popular rock group – I AM the almighty Gamblor and victorious I was in all 11 fantasy leagues last weekend… yes 11 leagues. I am victorious because I weigh risk against reward, and sometimes just throw that to the wind. That’s when I get my 0-11 week. YIKES! Just to give you a little insight to some of the decisions I have to make on a weekly basis, I had a tough one this week in a 16 team fantasy league….yes 16 teams. Matt Schaub is on a bye, our backup was Matt Cassel…who is now no longer the starter for the Chiefs. Fuck. And 16 teams means almost every starting QB is gone…except Matt Hasselbeck, John Skelton, and Brady Quinn. Jesus H. Christ. I was fortunate enough after waiting on waivers for two days to receive Hasselbeck….and he’s not even a good QB, but he may get me 10 points and I will take that this week…because Doug Martin already got me 33.4 points. Can you say hollllllllla?! I have Nate Washington as well…..hope this is a Krypto-Nate situation, ya feel me?!  Stay tuned to see how the Gamblor does, I’m guessing it’ll be another 11-0 week!