Back in August, the boys at FCSR did their annual NFL predictions. Who would win the divisions? Wild Cards? Championship games? Super Bowl!!? So yeah ok, Everyone and their twisted monkey can make predictions. We like to think of ourselves as somewhat of a rebel group, on the fringe of sports media, plunging our fists elbow deep into the abyss that is knowledge based on a predication of past events…..
Yeah, just stick with the fringe part and you’ll be fine.
“Tom Brady and Payton Manning are like show dogs and the only way this would be better for the four-letter network would be to insert a fantastical Schwarzenegger rule by which the horses and minute-men are actually playing in the Bigger Than Life Bowl instead of a measly AFC crowning game (that’s where the poodle comes in).”
In all, the five players here that made these choices did fairly well. Shockingly well? No. I picked the Falcons, Giants, Ravens and Texans as you can see in the photo from our radio studio with the greaseboard (that would be my doodle). My good friend David Kososki picked the Browns. We can’t be perfect or we wouldn’t have anything to discuss let alone razz each other for. Let’s look past that and realize that my big game pick is still intact — Seattle vs. Denver. I really went out on a limb on that one, right?
All week the foot-stompers have been talking up Brady v. Manning. I’m not going to do that. I will tell you however that if you dare to seek out coverage on the Broncos and Patriots matchup, simply turn on any number of the ESPN outlets and wait less than 180 seconds. You’ll be pleased. Tom Brady and Payton Manning are like show dogs and the only way this would be better for the four-letter network would be to insert a fantastical Schwarzenegger rule by which the horses and minute-men are actually playing in the Bigger Than Life Bowl instead of a measly AFC crowning game (that’s where the poodle comes in).
We, like the monolith of sports media, can’t be that lucky. Would I mind seeing Brady v. Manning in New York in February? Sure, as long as it’s a game that they’re playing in at a neutral site as opposed to Tom walking Payton around the Manhattan fashion district to parade him out in new, trendy threads and explaining why neutral colors are a good fit for the Big Apple, but he needs something more rustic for the Rocky Mountain region. We (hopefully) won’t get either. On the same thought, I don’t need to see Colin Kapernick give Russell Wilson style advice, either. If that were to happen, Wilson would show up to Qwest Field with a Jets hat turned left sporting a duck face mug. Sorry, now you have that image stuck in your head for the rest of the winter.
As for the games, I believe they’ll be close. I believe we won’t be disappointed. Great analysis. Ok ok… These games are won in the trenches, with running games, with solid defense. Forget the fact that Manning’s arm slung out record-setting numbers this year. Forget that the New England defense has been torn up by injuries. Forget that Russell Wilson has looked nearly forgettable in his last few games. Forget that the 49’ers are annoying everyone outside of the Bay area with their on-field antics and coach that dresses like a two-bit hobo. Denver’s defense is suspect. New England’s defense is peaking and making big plays and their running game can’t be stopped. Seattle will make shit rumble when the Skittle chomper gets in the end zone and their D is and has been lights out. San Fran (and I know their fans hate that term for their city) has swag and speed on both sides of the ball, and the best offensive line in the league.
Looking at this double rainbow, WHAT DOES IT MEAN??!! It means that I’m anxious. I’m worried. I’m Gary Busey in a heroin factory with a transgendered strip tease going on with piss and vinegar running through my veins at the thought of what might happen today. I’ll be either a pure goat, or a complete genius. I’d like to say that I’ll be the only one of the radio boys who picked the Super Bowl correctly. I’d like to be the one who picked the Giants and Texans for the playoffs, but was still able to find a cloudy crystal ball to be right when it really mattered. I’m still scared though as I see the Patriots and 49’ers pulling through today. How do I go about managing this? I guess I just need to stick with my guns and pick who I picked in August, and even if I have a hunch both road teams will prevail, I am generally terrible at picking games. Win-Win, no? Maybe not, but it is the best I can do (thinking with my brain and not my heart – the noodle).
Broncos 38 – Patriots 36
Seahawks 23 – 49’ers 20
P.S. – Anyone who gets the Bill Murray/Richard Dryfuss classic “What About Bob” theme in the title wins a goldfish named Gil and a Neil Diamond album…
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